She's talking with angels and falling apart
by MistresofRave
Summary: My Soul eater OC/DTK. Something irrevocable happens. Can Hikari make it through or will the grief be too much. I realize this summary is fairly short. Set to lyrics of Waiting for Superman by Daughtry, which no i don't own. Neither do I own Soul Eater. A good yet sad story. Trigger Warnings for: Character Death, Cutting, Suicide Attempts.
1. Chapter 1

_{All that time ago, you said you'd come back...you lied}_

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A young girl sat a window seat. Her purple hair blew into her eyes as from the slight breeze of the open window. She looked down, she was able to see the entire academy from here. He had told her to stay here when he was away. Gallows manner was a lovely place, she wasn't used to it being this empty though. It was slightly disturbing, but she was okay with it. Her lavender eyes focused forwards. There was a shock of hair, the ocean color that she would know anywhere, it appeared to her that blunette was on his way up. But this was peculiar, as far as she knew he wasn't due to visit. But that would be her fiance, sending someone to check on her while he was away. He worried about her so, and duly in most cases. She took a deep breath, she couldn't fight the feel in her chest. It was tight and there was an unsettled feeling. _The feeling pure in all emotion, that something was very and unequivocally_ **wrong**. The knock on her door came much quicker than she realized, her thoughts had consumed her it seemed. 

***Knock Knock***

The sound echoed around the empty mansion and it occurred to her that something must indeed by wrong. Because Black*Star did not knock at people's houses. He busted down doors. That was just how he was and everyone had come to terms with fixing their doors frequently. This worried her as she made her way over. She had on a black and white corset with a death-skull on it. The skirt she wore was black and red and very punk inspired. She adjusted the leather jacket that was around her shoulders, it was a cropped one that _he_ had gotten her for her birthday last year. She loved it and wore it with every outfit. 

***Clomp Clank Clomp***

Her boots were unusually loud on the floor, she didn't know why the flooded in and invaded her thoughts, the sound hollow. They were black with chains on them, her favorite, and very usable in combat. She didn't know why but in this moment she fingered the ring at her finger, it was his, another death-skull. What had inspired her to create the corset that she wore. Her black cross felt heavy on her neck and when she touched it, the usual peace she felt did not come. But the chilling feeling continued to coil inside of her stomach. She longed to touch the infinity shaped burn on her right wrist that was hidden by her bracelet. But she was at the door now, she pushed her hair behind her ear. It was down today, which was an oddity in itself, it was normally in a half ponytail that made her bangs pop out and the varying gradients of purple able to be seen. It covered her eyes when it was down. Even now it still covered the entire right side of her face and she wondered why she was having problems opening the door. It was _just_ Black*Star. She had looked, no one else was with him. Which again presented her with another oddity. Cool metal pressed into her hand as she opened the door. Her eyes flew to his, there was something demure about the ninja in front of her, she invited him in easily and disappeared into the kitchen without a word. It wasn't long before she pressed a cup of tea into his hand and sat on the couch. She had been making it before he came and there was something unsettling about the way he watched her closely. Not perversely, but like she was a china doll. She sipped her tea, folding her legs under her so that it was still acceptable in her skirt yet she was able to hold one leg to her chest. 

"How are you Black*Star? What is really going on and what is this fear I feel." Hikari said, the latter words she thought yet could not find the courage to speak. She turned to the lemon and honeyed tea in her hand, and took another sip, this time for the strength to find her words. She was perturbed as she saw the ninja merely sip the drink she had give him, as if he were too trying to find words that simply would not come. 

"There is something we need to talk about." Black*Star said, his voice was not at all like his own. There was no condescendance or playfulness to the tone as she and he enjoyed a good rapport. _How can I tell_ her? 

She heard a car then and rushed to window to look, it was a taxi, that was odd she thought he simply would have flown home to her. However she saw Liz and Patti get out of the vehicle but not him. Now she was concerned.

* * *

_{She's Watching the Taxi Driver, He pulls Away}_

* * *

A confused look came onto her face now. She didn't know what was going on. She saw the looks on Patti and Liz's face and they certainly weren't good ones. She turned to Black*Star then, he sat his tea down, finished and turned to her. 

"What is it?" She asked, there was clear panic in her voice now, she hated how high it went but she didn't know what was going on and she just needed to. 

"There's something I have to tell you, about Kidd." He watched her eyes drop and he hated him. Hated Kidd for forcing him to do this and for leaving her in the first place. 

"What?" Her voice was quiet, so quiet he could barely register what she had said.

"He didn't make it, back from that last assignment, he's gone." Black*Star said sadly as he watched her cautiously. He knew why they had sent him, he was strongest, besides; he was supposed to be there for her.

The sound of the cup shattering is the loudest sound in the room and for a moment she wonders what the vertigo feeling she's having is and then she realizes, she's falling to the ground, overwhelmed in the sheer amount of grief that she feels. But there are arms around her and she's confused, and then she realizes that Black*Star has sunk to the ground with her, she just lays there crying her eyes out in his arms. This can't be real, none of this can be real. But all she knows is that Black*Star is here for her, he doesn't even speak to her, knows he doesn't have to. Just that she needs him, he's there for her in whatever capacity; because he made a promise. HE won't let her slip away, just like Kidd asked him. He'd protect and watch over her, because she needed it and needed something solid to hold on to. 

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**A/N: So this is the first chapter, it's going to be three or four i believe, unless it gets away from me. The lyrics are to Waiting on Superman by Daughtry, which if you haven't listened to it you really should. I'm going to be using them throughout this fic. This is my OC and friends Death the Kid. I hope you enjoyed and please read and review. Also this is Hikari's outfit. You'll have to remove all the spaces from it. www . polyvore cgi / set?id = 126491894**


	2. Chapter 2

_{She's been locked up inside her apartment a hundred days}_

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This was rough, really it was. They were due at the funeral in little under an hour and Black*Star was going to Hikari's apartment to pick her up. No one had heard from her since he told her the news. He had check on her a few times and she had finally agreed to going home. He was concerned for her and that is why he was the one that volunteered to go and get her, to make sure she made it there. He knew that she would never forgive herself for missing Kidd's funeral. Besides this was what his duty was, he accepted that he was the one that was going to need to monitor her, that she was his responsibility now.

He walked in and saw her, at the window again, like she was waiting for him to come home. She broke Black*Star's heart. She was in a beautiful black dress with less about the long sleeves that went down her arms. She Her makeup was all very dark and he caught the sight of her bow, it looked like Kidd's hair on one side and had death-skulls on the other. There were large black sunglasses covering her eyes, no doubt she had been crying. She hadn't emerged from this room at all, she wasn't even attending classes anymore; however everyone had given her leeway, understanding what was going on in her mind. There were soft black velvet high heels sitting by her and he felt almost rude for intruding on her. She moved her hand and he saw it, the ring he had given her was settled on her middle finger and she was fidgeting with it nervously.

"Hikari." His voice was soft yet she jumped as he spoke, she had apparently not even realized he was there.

"Yes?" The voice she spoke in was broken and spoke of crying too many tears. It was scratchy and hardly able to be heard.

"It's time to go."

"I don't want to go." She said as she looked up at Black*Star, she removed her glasses and he saw the questioning and completely broken look on her face. She was looking for anything to keep her in this reality and he crossed the room quickly, wrapping her in a hug.

"I'm not going to let you miss it, you'd never forgive yourself and you know it. _He'd_ never forgive me for it." Black*Star felt her relax in his embrace. She wasn't as skittish around him now and he was happy for this. It was extremely hard when she fought him every step of the way. She had tried to fight him that first day, he wasn't worried about being hurt by her, she didn't have it in her then and was too afraid and upset. "So let's get going." He said and she put on her glasses, slipped on her heels and accepted the arm he offered. Downstairs there was a black limo that had the others in it. Maka was sitting by Soul, tears silently flowing down her face, the albino was speaking softly in her ear, hand on her head. She closed her eyes for a moment and seemed to relax. When Hikari got in she flew to Liz and Patti who welcomed her with open arms. They had accepted her as they're sister, they had even started to plan her and Kidd's wedding. The trio cried together, clinging to each other, they were the others who could understand. Black*Star sat down by Tsubaki, who though she wasn't crying she was very sad. Especially sad seeing all her friends so desolate.

When they arrived Hikari stood by Tsubaki and Black*Star during the whole thing. They listened to everyone talk and Hikari had to be dragged away by Black*Star half way through. They all laid roses on his casket before it was through. He descended into the earth and they each threw a handful of dirt on the casket before they buried it fully. Hikari walked away, just walking through the graveyard and Black*Star kept an eye on her, yet he stayed out of sight. Not trying to intrude just trying to make sure that she didn't do anything stupid.

He saw her walk up to four graves, he didn't know that she knew anyone in this cemetery and then he got a good look at the names. They had her last name, they must have been family.

"Brother, I wish you were here now. Things are so hard, without him I don't know how I'm going to keep the darkness in check. I don't want to be confined somewhere because of the madness. I'm worried. I know that Kidd told Black*Star to watch over me, I can't express how much I appreciate it or how good he's been to me, but I don't want to put him through that. It's too much, I'm too much for anyone to handle." Tears slipped from her now and she hiccuped in her sobs. Black*Star felt for her, and wonder what she spoke of, the darkness and madness. Perhaps he needed to keep a closer eye on her. He let her cry for some time, but when she fell backwards and titled her face up, to the rain that had started to fall, and showed no signs up moving to shelter; he walked up to her slowly, hands in his pockets. As bad as it sounded, she looked beautiful in this moment. He sorrow made her gorgeous as well as the ran the fell down her face, washing her of all the unnecessary makeup.

"Hikari." She jumped at his voice but merely opened her eyes and gave him a mournful look that made the assassin's heart clench rather painfully. "Come on." He said and offered her his hand, which she took, and he held it softly as he pulled out an umbrella for them both. He figured walking home would be good for the both of them.

When they got back to her apartment he watched her disappear into her bedroom, she came out later in a simple tank top and boys basketball shorts. He liked that she was comfortable enough to wear whatever she wanted around him. He handed her tea he had made in the kitchen.

"Thank you Black*Star." She said, her voice was but a soft whisper as her violet, watery eyes looked at him.

"It's just tea." He shrugged and drank the soda he had grabbed.

"You know that's not what I was saying it for." She said as she offered him a soft smile. She sat on the couch and turned on something random on tv, pulling her knees up to her chest. Black*Star followed and sat down beside of her. He watched her, it looked like she was trying to hold herself together and she couldn't breathe. Black*Star gently pulled her over into his arms and wrapped her up. Her back against his chest as he settled his arms around her. She drank long sips of her tea and it felt like she could breath just a little easier, like her burden wasn't as heavy. She sighed as she finished her tea and he moved it to the end table for her.

"It's okay you know." His voice was quiet, his eyes focused on the movie on TV.

"What?" She whispered as she tipped her head to look up at his face.

"That you miss him. That you are sad. You don't have to pretend around me. It doesn't matter to me how broken you are right now or if you're crying all of the time. I'm here to look after you."

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**A/N: Here's her outfit link, remove the spaces.  
** www. polyvore cgi/ set?id =128303308


	3. Chapter 3

Hikari woke up the next morning in her bed, Black Star had obviously put her to bed when she fell asleep while watching movies. There was a piece of paper attached to her pillow in his messy script telling her he would be back later. She sighed and sat up, running a hand over her face as she forced herself to go to the bathroom. in there she slipped on a purple tank top and black ripped up jeans. Her hand hit something and her makeup bag fell on the floor, falling open and something caught her eye. It was her old friend, shiny, silver and sharp. she had been carrying it around since Kidd's funeral, she hadn't given into temptation yet, but it was so strong.

* * *

**~~~~TRIGGER WARNING~~~~~**

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She picked it up. The blade was so smooth, just one cut, it would make everything better. She could stop in time. She slid the blade across her skin, felt hte wicked slice of the razor and peace floated through her body. She did it again and again. She cleaned her arm, razor and all the evidence away. She slipped on a long sleeved, black flowing jacked that was open in the front and went out to sit on the couch. She pulled her knees to her chest and turned on The Princess Bride, it was one of her favorite movies and one that she always quoted by heart. The fleeting thought came into her mind that it would be beneficial if she would eat something, however she shook it off. She could do that later. Surely she would remember she was busy right now, besides, the cutting took away from needed to eat. Now she was fine, perfect and normal.

* * *

**~~~~END TRIGGER WARNING~~~~~**

* * *

It was about the end of the movie before Black Star walked in her door. He just chuckled at her and the mountain of tissues that were around her, she always got emotional and she just chuckled as she wiped the tears from her eyes. He sat down with some Chinese, hers was general tsuo's and steamed rice. His Japanese chicken and stir-fried rice. He sat down and began to eat, she just kind of looked at it and before she could open her mouth he spoke.

"Don't even think about it. Eat."

"But Black Star-"

"I haven't actually seen you eat in days, so your eating, now." He said and then looked at her from the corner of his eye. "I can always force feed you."

"Fine." She grumbled as she picked it up and started to pick at it. She flipped on another movie, this one was the first of the Die Hards. She looked over at him with a small smile as she sat down her food, half eaten. She turned back to watching the movie and sighed gently. "I feel guilty Star."

"What about?" He asked but he had a feeling that he already knew what she meant.

"For the first time yesterday, for the briefest moment since he died I didn't feel guilty. For a moment with you I forgot my grief and felt happy. It's wrong and i can't help but feel that its a betrayal." She whispered as she looked down.

"Hikari, no." Black Star said as he sat down his food and turned to look at her, she was desolate yet beautiful. He couldn't help but want to make her feel better. He completely understood how Kidd fell for her. She was amazingly strong for how broken she was. He struck him that she looked like she was still waiting for _him_. It made his heart heavy. "You shouldn't feel that way, you know that he would want you to move on and be happy." Black Star tried to comfort her, but he knew that she was really in need of a distraction. "Listen, later tonight why don't we go to the carnival that is going on in Death City. We'll get some cotton candy, ride a few rides, maybe I'll even win you a ginormous stuffed bear." Black Star chuckled as he saw a faint smile come onto her face.

"Okay." She said as she tucked her hair behind her ear. They went back to watching the movie and eventually she got up and handed the both of them a soda. She looked at the time and a few hours had went by before they knew it. "Well if we are going to go and do this then you should get home and get ready and I'll do the same." She said with a gentle smile. She needed to plan out an outfit so that Black Star wouldn't see her cut marks. He surely would react poorly if he found out what she had done. She had no doubt that Kidd had told him of this and told him to watch her for it.

It was still very warm out so she chose to wear black shorts with a black and turquoise long sleeved sweater. She had cute turquoise heels along with various jewelry and of course Kidd's ring on her left index finger. She curled her hair and it shimmered due to the multiple colors of purple in her hair. She applied her makeup, taking special care with her eyeliner and her shimmery teal eyeshadow. She looked very pretty if she did say so herself and enjoyed how the teal lipstick she wore pulled the whole look together. It was then that she received a text from Black Star saying to meet him there, that they would meet by the bridge. She begins to head there. It was pretty out this evening, she had to give him that. She sat and waited on the bridge, legs swung over the side and staring into the water. She remembered when she had been meeting another boy here. She had barely known him at the time, she was a stranger who was suicidal but Kidd had cared anyway, that was just the kind of person that he was. He always wanted to help someone if he could tell that they really needed it. It was times like this that she could pretend.

* * *

_She says, "Yeah, he's still coming, just a little bit late._

_He got stuck at the laundromat washing his cape."_

* * *

She sighs. Pretend isn't anything but harmful to those that do it. She shook her head and looked to the sun, which she could see setting just over Death City. She jumped as a hand dropped onto her shoulder and if that hand hadn't grabbed her she would be in the water, but he grabbed her wrist through her sleeve and pulled her back. She did well not to make any motion to show how much it had hurt when he had grabbed her there.

"Jumpy." His deep voice said and she merely smiled.

"You scared me Soul. Where is Star?" She asked, the boy was his best friend, she actually hadn't talked to Soul since the whole thing happened, they didn't really talk much at all. All she could figure is that Star had sent him to find her, to make sure that she was alright and to watch her before he got there.

"He's coming, said that he was going to do something then come here. "

"He sent you to babysit me didn't he?"

"No! Not Babysit!" Soul insisted but she merely gave him a look. "Everyone is just worried about you, we never see you and Star is the only one you've talked to. We miss you." Soul said.

"This sounds a lot like something Maka would say." Hikari said and she saw a faint blush rise up on his cheeks and he chuckled.

"Maybe. But hey, I know that we've never really been close or anything. But just know, if there's something you need to talk to someone about, and you can't come to Star; I'm here for you. Kidd was my best friend too." She nodded and smiled.

"Thank you very much Soul, that means a lot to me." She said, she hated lying to them. Nothing meant anything to her anymore. The only brief flickering spark out of her deep depression and grief was last night with Black Star. She should have been miserable. After all, if she hadn't been such a faliure as a meister and had a weapon then she would have been able to go with him and make sure that he came home safe. But she hated lying to them and acting like seeing them try to live without him every day wasn't killing her inside.

"HIKARI!" She heard the sound and it just made her smile.

"BLACK STAR!" She yelled at the top of her lungs and laughed a little. She saw Soul chuckled and smile at her. She couldn't fight how stupid he made her act.

"I got you something." He said as he walked up next to her.

"Oh really?" She was curious, Black Star didn't really give gifts.

"Yeah, here, so you know, I'm always with ya and how much of a star you really are." He said and presented her with a necklace. It was a thin silver chain with a sapphire blue star.

"I love it Star, thank you." She said with a smile as she hugged him, pulling off her go-to black heart with spikes necklace and sticking it in her pocket as she had him put it on her.

"It suits you." Black Star said as he watched her smile. "Cotton Candy?" He asked as he looked at Soul, a look of thanks passing over his features. He was worried about leaving her alone, but he wanted her to have it. Maybe it would give her something to hold on to, selfishly he wished that after a time it would replace Kidd's ring that she always wore. However he would wait, he was here to take care of her and that came first. He saw her nod at him and he grabbed her hand to pull her along. They went and got cotton candy, meeting up with Maka who instantly went to Soul.

"We should ride some rides!" Maka said with a happy expression, they hadn't seen the pigtailed meister so carefree in a long time, even before Kidd's untimely demise.

"Okay." Hikari said as she tucked her hair behind her ear. She was nervous and Black Star had picked up on her habit rather quickly. He grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the tilt-a-whirl and the others followed. He saw a smile return to her face and was quite happy that he was able to change this. They all rode the ride and continued on to ride a variety of them.

Soon though, everyone was hungry and the boys went to get some food. Maka and Hikari sat on the bridge and stared into the water bellow.

"I feel like he's not gone. Like I'm just waiting and he'll show up, that's he's just really late." The words left her mouth before she had realized that she had spoken.

"I understand, in truth I sort of feel that way as well. I don't know what I would do If I were going through what you were going through." Maka said as she bumped her shoulder against Hikari's. "If you ever need to talk, or just someone else to hang out with I'm here though." Hikari had figured something like this would happy. Maka had always been very supportive and caring towards her.

"Thanks." It was all she could manage to make herself say. She was startled though when someone approached them that was neither Black Star or Soul. "W-Who are you?" She asked, it was then that Maka turned around to see three men standing behind them.

"First we took care of your boyfriend, now it's time to take care of you." The one in the front, who seemed to be the leader, said as he wrenched her up by her arm.

"Why are you doing this!" Maka yelled at them, the two girls were pretty much helpless without someone there.

"Hikari here got away when she was little. The witches that were work for were very displeased by this matter. They've been hunting her, it wasn't until recently when she was seen with her little reaper boyfriend that they found here. Well, well should say ex-boyfriend now." He sneered as the pressure increased on her arm.

"You bastard." Hikari cursed as tears fell from her eyes, she struggled against him. There had to be something she could do, some weakness that she could exploit. She continued to struggle and her panicked eyes flew to Maka, who had been grabbed as well. She slammed her knee into the man who was holding her's stomach, causing him to let go of her. She grabbed Maka's hand and threw her clearly away from the trouble. Maka expected the girl to follow. But it was then that she watched something pass of Hikari's face that she didn't' particularly enjoy, something wrong. The girl stopped fighting then. She was hit over the head and thrown into the water, she appeared to be unconscious.

This was about the time that Black Star and Soul showed up. Black Star's eyes flew quickly around to assess the situation and upon seeing her in the water knew he didn't have any time to waste. He nodded to Soul who transformed his arm, they dispatched the men quickly, Black Star a little more violently than usual, and he dove into the water. He picked her up and slowly swam to shore. Soul and Maka had disappeared, presumably to get someone to help. He tugged her up onto show and collected her in his arms. She began coughing up water almost instantly and he hugged her to his chest.

"Don't scare me like that again!" He said as he looked down at her, however there was something that he saw that worried him more than her almost drowning. Her sleeves had slid up and he saw the clear, new, cut marks on her arm. He hugged her to him tighter. "Don't worry, we'll figure everything out later." Black Star whispered in his ear as he took a blanket that Maka offered and wrapped her up in it. "Come on let's get you home."

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**A/N: Well here's a new chapter, it took forever but this one is longer and I quite like how it turned out. Please Read and Review and let me know what you 's her outfit as well:  
**

** www. polyvore hikari_ carnival/ set? id= 134583893 as always remove spaces.  
**

**~Missy~**


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